13 Sep Obituary: Agata Nardelli-Orr
Agata Nardelli began life in Montreal on September 11, 1929, and she crossed the threshold of death on August 1, 2017 in Unionville. She had many questions about God and Man, and this led her through ups and downs. She was the first-born child of two Italian immigrants and spoke Italian as her first language. Then in school and playing with others she learned French. When she was 15 she changed to an English school but had to go back a year because her grade had no openings. So she left school at 16 but only with a grade 10 education. Her younger brother was allowed to finish high school.
Agata took jobs as a model, she even won a beauty contest as Miss Italian-Canadian. But was there underlying these more superficial pursuits of vanity a deeper quest to adorn and ennoble the temple of her soul—her body? We can wonder about this as we read one of her favourite verses for “Meditative Prayers for Today” by Adam Bittleston:
“Upon the temple of our body/ Worked through the ages/ The servants of God,/
Mighty spiritual creators.
This is now my dwelling:
But it is darkened/ By the power of tempters/ To whom my soul has listened.
The bones which sustain/ The form which God gave,/ Be hallowed by Thee.”
In her own handwriting Agata crossed out the last line and wrote instead:
“Be made holy and well/ And healed by Thee.”
From her teenage years, Agata concerned herself intensely with her appearance. She wore makeup, elegant clothes and styled her hair. This gave her an edge in the business world, where she worked on a management level for Bell. She also dressed herself carefully to give pleasure to her husband, John Orr.
Agata had a longing for religion. After the troubles in Catholic school catechism classes, she sought justification and understanding from a Martinist study group, in which she and John participated in Quebec. This is a deepening of understanding based on Judeo-Christian foundations.
Then Agata became involved in the teachings of an Indian guru, and she and John sold all their belongings to follow the guru to an ashram in India. But this was not their way, either.
Back in Canada, humbled in circumstance but not in zest for life, they couldn’t settle into an ordinary life and bought a tiny caravan to travel and live like gypsies. One time the RV broke down outside of Las Vegas, and Agata gave their last savings to John to go and gamble. She was confident that he was lucky and—it worked!
“Unto the sorrowing heart of Mary Magdalene Thou camest…
Unto the questioning head of Thomas Didymus Thou camest…
Unto the faltering will of Simon Peter Thou camest…
And so Thou comest to our sorrowing heart…
And so Thou comest to our questioning head…
And so Thou comest to our faltering will…
Calling us from our graves to work with Thee.”
Agata’s hopes were dashed when John suffered a major stroke just after taking early retirement. Instead of spending their time together, gadding about and being snowbirds, their life was tied to Sunnybrook Hospital and a tiny apartment in the veterans’ housing in Willowdale. Agata felt comfort in the life of Christ that she knew from childhood. She could feel her own soul’s echo with Mary Magdalene, Thomas “the doubter” and Simon Peter whom Christ called “the rock on which to build his church,” but he could not sustain his faith.
Agata wished she could have children, but two ectopic pregnancies left her without this opportunity. An Advent verse from Bittleston was the inspiration for helping her lift her frustrated maternal longings to another level:
“Thou mothering earth/ Hast received the live seed
Into the dark/ Good shelter of soil.
The mantle of night/ Thrown wide over us,
And the sun as it goes/ Its swift and short journey,
Speak to our hearts/ In warning and promise.
Thou Earth hast borne up/ The footsteps of Mary
Journeying patiently/ Southwards to Bethlehem;
And the Earth bears us/ Today in our travail,
That we may bring forth/ Christ in our spirit.
So we may await Him/ Sent by the Father,
Healer and bringer/ Into our being
Of love without fail.
Agata knew respect for authority, inspired by her father, a rock on which to build her values. And she knew faithful, enduring love in her marriage to John. John knew that her impatience suppressed the power of hope, and he had vanity licence plates made for her—a promise “lilwhile” A little while and you will see me. And while this was the power of their karmic connection, it was perhaps also the answer to Agata’s perpetual questing—to experience the certainty of the divine world.
Rev Susan Locey
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